Plan B Enthusiast T-Shirts

The missiles had failed....so it was down to Frank....and plan B.

Airlines

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

Deadline

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

'I'm afraid it's gingivitis.'

Child has practiced building sand castles in snow.

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

10 commandments

"You do not have a QR-Code."

"I proclaim this sun-drenched tropical country a new tourist mecca, in the names of Consolidated Airways and the Peck & Smathers Advertising and Public Relations Company."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'Dang, it looks like they have found out about my plan to take over the world...'

Hippie on the moon

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

bird

"My schedule is just nuts."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

Bev puts on an old favorite

"We need a plot twist."

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"Someone's screwed up. . . there's apiece of road here no-one's working on!"

I warned you to keep it low!

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."