Pitch Prankster Gifts

Bowled out.

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

History's First Prop Gag

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

Bahrain F1

'But that wasn't a beaker of acid! That was a cup of coffee from the cafeteria!'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

Skiers

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

Politics Books

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'Well, what if I were the last HETEROSEXUAL man on earth?'

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"

Footballer uses the ref's foam to shave.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to jump. I'm just screwing with the media.'

It's all about the PR baby!

'Happy Christmas. . .And have a PR-tastic...new year.'

For Your Dog

'Do not even think about it, Ron!'

The Devil playing a prank on a homeless person.

'Leadership challenge? No chance!'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of refereeing are the hardest.'

Social Networking or Death

'OK, give him a shove.'

'Objection, overruled. I'm going to allow that intentional brushback. But I'm warning you, counselor, you're treading on thin ice.'

Shooting down a plane. Oops.

Ever since Jeff's little accident, his teammates all referred to his position on the field as 'Shartstop'.