Pirate At Heart T-Shirts

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"As I see it you have two options - put him on a diet or roast him."

Wine Walking the Plank

"A word to the wise- never put on mascara when you're drunk."

"I love the Caribbean in February!"

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

"This is your plan to pay for our retirement?!"

"Will you please cut the 'Alas, poor Yorick' bit and open that chest?"

"So far I've gotten 2 bags of candy, 3 chocolate bars, and 5 bottles of sanitizer."

'Me? I have a cold mouse hand.'

Updated Classic: Treasury Island

'He's having a bad feather day.'

'Twenty years of swashbuckling is enough, it's time to give landlubbin' a shot.'

The Pirates of the Lake

"I like a speed."

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'Are we there yet?'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

Piracy on a boating lake

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."