Piece Picker-upper T-Shirts

"It's O.K. I've got it."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

The Scenic Route

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'You complete me.'

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

He loves me...

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

'Wanna help make sure we don't become an endangered species?'

"Pinching, squeezing, smelling...I love interactive shopping."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Be like that, but don't forget if it wasn't for me and my buddies, they'd be a whole lot more shit for the likes of you to look at!"

No, he wants the other one … No, not that one … No, to your right … No, above that one …

"Take over your planet?? - No... we're here to clean it up!!!"

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"I get paid by the word."

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

"Jimmy crack corn and I'm upset... Nope, nope, too honest..."

"I'm a breast and leg man, myself!"

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

"Hi. Obviously, I'm betting everything on the watch."

"Well this part of your order has arrived, but the other parts haven't, though I understand they're in transit. So I guess parts of your parts order are partly here."

Oranges, lemons and limes.

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

'Not sure what's worse...the sweatshop or the tea break.'

Alas but only a few people master the perfect pick up line

My name is Morton and I'm a nice man. So? Are you a nice woman? Can you believe this? I think I've discovered a whole new species of wimp! Actually, he's kinda cute...