Pie Crust Perfectionist Gifts

'Bless me father for I have sinned, I lied about my pie crusts not having lard in them, 12 times, and I killed my daughter's Schnauzer.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Baking

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

Husband bakes a pie

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Cookery Lesson.

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

'I met this little dude at the zoo and he's anxious to try your banana cream pie.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

I Bake. Deal with it.

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

"Ready...."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Come dine with me!

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

American Pastry