Picture Perfecter Prints

'Apparently the reunion photographer didn't photoshop enough.'

The Computer Bore

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Homo Gamus

'On second thought, perhaps it would look better if your hand was tucked into your jacket.'

Elevator Pitch

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Are you done yet?'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

Personal Cheerleader.

Man looking in mirror and says 'help'.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Social lens of the photojournalist

Using a social media app to date

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

"Dang it, my eyes were closed - take another one!"

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

'They balked our pitch.'

"It's better digitally enhanced."

'I am playing outside, Mom -- look at the graphics.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

New Year's Resolution.

"I'll be home late I stapled then collated when I was supposed to collate then staple."

'Was the flash too bright?'

'Dude, I think your memory card is full.'

'Why can't you collect stamps like everybody else'

'Sometimes I wish I hadn't bought you that stupid camera for Christmas!'

'This camera is so fast that you don't even have to press the shutter release.'