Pickup Prankster Pillows

"Doesn't this state have a law against sitting in a pickup bed while casting a baleful stare?"

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

A Not So Grand Slam.

'Dad, make a noise like a dinosaur!'

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

Cheeky Boy

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

Work stress.

'I'm going to have to let you go. Even though you're one of the best computer programmers we've ever had, we just can't tolerate you eating the other employees.'

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

"What the...a swarm of Christmas air-mail parcels?! Pull her up, Larry! Pull her up!!"

Whistling

'Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.'

'Third quarter profits are down 3%, but we're expecting a rise in - Johnson! For the last time, stop trying to pick my nose!'

'Let's take a break and go laugh at customers in the produce section trying to open those little plastic bags.'

'How about a cream pie? A cream pie might work.'

'The fellow must have a pace maker because he collapsed when I fired the garage door opener at him.'

"Okay! Okay! I'll do something to stop the barking!"

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"

"Listen mate - don't mess me about! Did you, or did you not, 10 years ago, adopt a mountain lion cub. . .??"

"I think that last cone was more than a warning."

'Deposit $1.00 - This is your final notice before we send it to a collection agency.'

'A £500 fine just for double parking?' - 'Yes, mine was the one on top.'

'Not only does this car park itself, but if it dents the car behind it, it leaves a note with the wrong phone number. Just like I do!'

A Loyal Dog's Escape From The Parking Meter.

"When I saw you scratch yourself in my algebra class, I thought, 'Now is a good time for a quiz'."

"What do you mean I left garage too quickly?" - Mechanic still under car