Physician Assistant Pillows

'The assistant to the physician's assistant will see you now.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'The doctor is delayed in the hospital. I'm Lulu, the PA's assistant. How may I help you?'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Apply a snowball for twenty minutes every two to four hours."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

The president's men

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Busy office.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"....how many kids have we got now?"