Phrase Master T-Shirts

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

"There are exceptions. Sometimes it's possible to have buzz without any hype whatsoever."

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"On your marks..."

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

Life Remaining Progress Bar

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

Today, we'll talk with Professor Ernie about some lesser known units of measurement. Let's start with the "light-year." A 'light-year" is a unit of time measuring how long somebody stays on their diet. In most cases, it's counted in small fractions. No, a light year is a unit of length equal to the distance light travels in a year, about six trillion miles. What about the "angstrom"? The "angstrom" is a measurement of anxiety levels! Incorrect again. It's another unit of length --- It's

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"Whoa, too much information!"

'I'm just not keen.'

"You sure know how to talk to sales clerks!"

Grasslands Preserve. I understand it's difficult to domesticate buffalo. Yes --- they can be seen but not herded.

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

"Museum of Over-Used Phrases"

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

Opening up at the weatherman's bar - "I wouldn't say our relationship's stormy - It's more squally with the possibility of bright spells later"