Photo Opportunist T-Shirts

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Say speed!

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Say cheese!

"Great photo."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"It's a 'selfie.'"

"They grow up so fast."

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

Stonehenge Imitation

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"... 57, 58, 59, 60 seconds … done!"

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Cheese...Crackers.

Do you remember where this is from?

New to selfies? Pick a style!

'Can we talk... alone?'

"I want a nice family Christmas photo. Now, go upstairs and put on a tree skirt."

The Photographer

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

Castaway is part of a cruise tour.

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

'If he buys a photo of me like this I'll kill him.'

'This should come out just right.'

Dye now, pay later!