Photo Critique T-Shirts

"Oh no!...they printed my picture from my drivers license!"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

The Rise of Modern Art

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

"He's left out the staples"

Native Habitats: Trump/Lies

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

"Is this 'pollocks'."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Factory Recall Unicorn.

You looked different during our video chat.

'He's picture perfect, alright, but the negative leaves a little to be desired.'

Tilted painting

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'