Phone-ins T-Shirts

'Too bad - I know the correct answer but I don't have arms to pick up the phone'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'The King of what?'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

...the onion rings

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

'Not now, Harry. I'm on hold.'