Phone Conversation Lover Pillows

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Time management office worker

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

Bar Therapy

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

Bird Messaging

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

I'm keeping my phone on...we'll need a wake up call after this guy speaks!

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

"Can you hold a moment? I've asked you before not to donate my organs till after I'm dead."

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'I'll get my people to talk to your people, and we can go off and have a picnic.'

Lady praises date for being a good conversationalist.

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'Hi mom! How are you? I'm very well! How is dad? Hi mom...' 'Damned parrots...'

"Nice talking to you."

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

Taxi Debates

"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."

'Hello, is that the government? Yes, I was just wondering... is the lambada still forbidden?'