Phone Care Gifts

Caring for the phone

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"I had to skip my workout."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Did you remember my mints?"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"Yes, I'm alone."

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Policeman talking to lost child

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"Sun block and bug spray and rogain, oh my! ..."

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Clock Tower Shadow

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'Having trouble with the shaver?'

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'