Phone Call Frustration Fan Gifts

"Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Death can wait.

Collar I.D.

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

'Still 10 minutes to go before my cheap call rate kicks in...!'

'You can't put me on hold... I'm putting you on hold!'

Dog Chatlines...

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

'I absolutely concur with your opinion: that I am an over scripted, brain dead moron, who is wasting your time!'