Philosophy Ponderers Mugs

Been there. Done that. But have done things differently.

Goldfish jumping out of a fish bowl declaring 'We are free' and then dying on the floor

His prayers were finally answered ? with a question.

'Do I have to say a prayer even if I don't need anything?'

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

Heaven for Agnostics

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

'I can't help thinking that when we're dead, these will be the good old days.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'The burden I can bear, but the constant rotation makes me dizzy.'

"Stop telling me to live in the present!"

Materialism

"If the meek are going to inherit this earth, they're going to have to toughen up."

"Reincarnated as a goldfish, I must have done something terrible in a previous existance...I must have been a piranha"

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

"And what about us?"

'So you created everything...including black holes...which will eventually swallow everything...including you.' 'I'm working on that.'

"But if You create them in Your image, how will they tell each other apart?"

"When were you planning to tell me about Hell?"

Ten Commandments

And on the seventh day, God obsessed about what he did wrong on the first six days.

Pre-Need Decisions

'Just Adam and Eve? - What about DIVERSITY?'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'We're supposed to love our enemies? -- Is this some sort of ZEN thing?'

We Are Atheists.

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

'They say that life begins at 40. Actually it takes that long to realize that it's already half-way gone.'

'But I only just got here.'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

Heaven, Hell, Limbo.

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

Hilary and Jo-Anne thought integrated bars a mixed blessing.