Philanthropist Pillows

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'He is a persistant little fundraiser.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

"Quick! I need some more charitable donations!"

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'You have what is known as 'gifting exhaustion'.'

Honey badger do care.

"When times were good I trickled stuff down."

'This isn't rocket science, Chuck. You donate $1,000 to a charity. You feel good. That's it.'

"Did I just give, or did I give wisely? That is the question."

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

Man to biblical character: 'All this time we thought you were a non-prophet organization.'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

Corporate Head to others at meeting: 'Today is financial Arbor Day. We're going to find some worthwhile charity and plant a money tree.'

Corporate Head to others in meeting: 'I couldn't find a worthy recipient of my philanthropic giving, so I'm funneling it all through Grandma.'

The Warren Buffet Effect - Thank you For Not Asking How Much I Gave to Charity.

"It's Christmas, Melanie. Have young Cosgrove go down to the street and give something back to the community."

'Your very generous charitable contribution shows up as this very slight blip right here.'

Gratitude

"Don't - they'll just spend it on drugs."

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Greedy, meet needy."

'What is the minimum contribution needed to be considered a philanthropist?'

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

'This was bestowed by a famous philanthropist before he made his fortune.'

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

The Good Boys - Bill Gates and Warren Buffett

Company discusses charity donations, boss says: 'We do want a personal touch, Bob, but I'm not sure homeless people need monogrammed socks.'

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

'Shipwrecked or not I never miss sending out my annual contributions.'

'Help me out!"

'I'm tired of the Van Gough. Let's donate it to charity.'

'Sir, give the economy a boost! contribute twice as much!'