Pharmaceutical Executives Pillows

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'Our new diet pills have been a disaster. The damn things work!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"He likes it."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

My brilliant career

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'