Phantom Food Critic T-Shirts

"Have you been snacking between meals again..?"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Ghostbasters 3

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'The stuff legends are made of'

"All I've got left is smoked."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'Oh waiter... there are no flies in my soup!'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

Witch making fairy cakes using fairy

Surprise!

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

G8 ministers agonise over food decisions.

"Okay, who wants a wrap, who gets a steak and who's the fish?"

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

Witch luring in old people.

An anxious knight stares at chef's knives embedded in a stone

'Whoa, this is an exiguous amount of cheese for $25.00, you need to put on a tie.'