Phantom Food Critic T-Shirts

"Have you been snacking between meals again..?"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Ghostbasters 3

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

"All I've got left is smoked."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'Oh waiter... there are no flies in my soup!'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

G8 ministers agonise over food decisions.

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

Witch making fairy cakes using fairy

Surprise!

"Okay, who wants a wrap, who gets a steak and who's the fish?"

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

An anxious knight stares at chef's knives embedded in a stone

'Whoa, this is an exiguous amount of cheese for $25.00, you need to put on a tie.'