Pet T-Shirts

"Laura! Laura! Wake up — I just had the worst nightmare!"

"The three of us. We’re a pod."

"Just tell me he still doesn't have that darn frisbee!"

"Me, I love it when it's just my master and me in the car: I can ride shotgun..."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Polly txt speak

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Pick me!"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Why do they do that?"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'