Pet Treat Strategist Pillows

"Sit!"

Cat in a tank...

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Works every time."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

Dog Love.

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

"She's eating in tonight."

"We're still working out joint custody."

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

"The tunnel leads right to the treat isle at the pet store..."

'Relax... breathe... visualize you inner dog treat...'

"After you've wished once for food, you can stop using your other wishes on food."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"I give up! I stock up on chicken treats and now the cat tells me he's gone vegetarian!"

Why cats will never rule the world: 'First, we'll assume high level government positions! Then we'll enforce harsh taxing measures! ...But first let's take a nap...sun spot feels...so good.'

Dog in pet shop beats the competition by hold a sign saying 'Has Fleas'.

"When throwing up a hairball, placement is very important."

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

"He binge watches TED talks about getting the upper hand with cats."

"What you need to do is, find the biggest squirrel in the yard, walk right up to him and shake the dirty walnuts out of him."

Rover's Cake

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

"Listen, Trixie, if we play this right and stick to the plan, we might get free room and board for the rest of our lives."

"Ambitions... To get birthday treats every dog year, not every seven."