Pet Rivalry Analyst Mugs

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

Newspaper headline is CUTE PUPPY RESCUED. Cat says: 'Sigh! It's all bad news in the papers, isn't it?'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Doggie Bowl Drill

'It took me five years to learn, but now I can climb trees! Let's see if that darn cat will laugh at me now...'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

Strikeout Dog

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

'...paddlecat is said to have contributed to much of the tension that exists between the two species, even today.'

Sick Exhibitionist

'Welcome home, Tiddles...'

'Best friend? I hardly know the man!'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

A dog cruising around in his car looking for cats, sporting his number of kill badges of cats on the side of his car.

Nuke mouse.

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

"It's a dog tradition. Every morning and evening, we thank God that we're not cats."

Some conflicts never get resolved.

'What do you think? Surge or escalation?'