Pet Psychology Enthusiast Gifts

"They moved my bowl."

"And you call yourself a dog."

The Doggie Psychic

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"Baby, you can't listen to reviewers."

'It's probably your own fear of inadequacy.'

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"You and I lack a basic understanding."

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"Of course I'm a sociopath; what else did you expect? I'm a cat."

"To overcome your fear of vacuum cleaners, we'll start with a dustbuster and work our way up."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Actually I never loved you."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

The brain of a dog.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'