Pet Peeve Humorist T-Shirts

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

On strike - Do your own barking.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Dogs life

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Clown walks balloon dog