Pet Pedigree Pundit T-Shirts

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Serves you right for licking it!"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

The Fishbowl Dynasty

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

'They're for a friend.'

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

"Just between us, I came first, but I shredded the evidence."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

Mother Clucker

'He kept saying that, 'my bark was worse than my bite', so I bit him!'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

'If you look at paragraph 23 section 12 you'll see that your comprehensive life insurance does not in fact cover the thanksgiving holiday period.'

"My investment adviser told me to go for short term capital gains."

Growth hormones feed to chickens