Pet Parenthood Ponderer Mugs

"There's no such thing as a free cat."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Pet Cemetery.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

'Mom says she has a souffl

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Yeah but when will she be home?"

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

Pet Adoptions

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Three Parent Baby

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."