Pet Pampering Perfectionist Pillows

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

"Lately, the demands of our cat have begun to spiral wildly out of control."

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

'I docked those Setters' tails. What about the dewclaws?'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Dogs can dream too.

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Pampered Pets.

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Woman Curls Her Dog.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Dog Jogger

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."