Pet Owning T-Shirts

"You know your dog better than I do."

'You chewed up my list of new years resolutions! Good boy!'

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

101 uses of a dead cat: microphones.

The real reason God rested on the seventh day.

'My place or yours... or right here?'

'I'm sorry, but we're all out of both whales and eagles.'

'How could you tell I'm a cat person? Are you psychic?'

'His previous owner had a lot of allergies.'

'I miscounted and went from 8 to 7.'

His cheapest artist's model.

'We know you have a cat.'

'Let's get one thing straight, Bowser, I got you for protection, not companionship.'

"Please, Dear, don't put the cat out anymore!"

Garden of Earthly Delights

'I like he's a self-starter - but I never hired him.'

'Will work for tummy rub.'

'No, not frisbees!.. Freebies!'

Dog has a television screen for a head and a plug in tail.

'Okay, just one more. But then I have a rescue I need to get to.'

Saint Bernard.

'Honestly, I never know if I'm coming or going.'

101 uses of a dead cat: mouse's trapeze circus act.

Canine.

He prefers the flexibility only a motor home provides. Spike.

"Let's be clear Mr Cosgrove. We feed you,… you don't bite our hand."

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Pick me!"