Pet Owner Who Keeps Secrets T-Shirts

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

When Pugs dream.

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"He was a sea rescue."

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Art Pets

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"