Pet Name Philosopher Pillows

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Biofelineism

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

'Hard to follow...'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"How do I get down?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'