Pet Influencer Aficionado T-Shirts

"I'm getting the views, now I need sponsorship to monetize my popularity."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

I think the cat wants to go out.

The Karate Kitten.

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"My first video flopped. Okay. Bad script. But then I did a walk-on for Disney and wound up with a three-video streaming deal."

'I want a straightforward answer: Did you or did you not willfully claw a flea to death on your left ear?'

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

Catnip Brownies - Cool!

"She has to find just the right spot."

"I can’t chase you today … he’s in one of his moods."

"Bob's more realistic."

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"

Animal Translations.

Snowman picking up snow dog poo

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

"I have to call you back, Mom. I'm right in the middle of updating the dog's website."

The Most Interesting Cat In The World

"I know you love fetching, but that won't go viral on youtube...what else you got?"

'Since winning Best of Breed at the dog show he won't go anywhere without his entourage!'

'I can tell you were watching a cooking show. There's drool on the screen.'

'They fight like you know what.'

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress myself."

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

'Look at him! You just know he can't wait to get out and roll in something stinky!'

'Skip the farm - how much for just the ants?'

Jesus walks on water (with his dog Saul) "Jesus Christ, slow it down!"