Pet Hospitality Expert Pillows

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Landing That Tough Account

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"What's our policy on pets?"

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

"Do you want a bed or do you prefer to sleep on the furniture?"

"It's not the dry food I hate, it's that crunching sound you make when you eat it!"

"The last thing we need now is to sit around with a hangdog look!"

Sometimes he rubbed her the wrong way - which really rubbed her the wrong way.

"If you're willing to wait, the soup is always better on the second day."

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

Posh Doghouse.

'Greg, if your cell phone was set to vibrate, I think I've located it.'

Pyramid Dog House.

'Mistress said I could not be a lap-dog anymore... I need to lose weight...'

"I found it. It's catnip for the 5th anniversary and scratching post on the 10th."

"Lately, the demands of our cat have begun to spiral wildly out of control."

"How much we talking for a deck?"