Pet Hair Wranglers T-Shirts

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

Climbing with the baby

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'How nice. I didn't even know they had computers in nursery schools.'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

A child and his dog

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

Babies

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Winter Clothing'

"How may times do I have to tell you to flush? Gosh, will I ever get you potty trained?!"

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'I'm shedding.'

"Logistically impressive Hodges, but does this qualify you for a leadership role in the company?"

"When do I get my phone call"

The First Supper

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

Heel! Toe!