Pet Food Critic Prints

'Sir, we have a complaining customer!'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'...and now WOOF DOG FOOD is available in FIVE new flavors; beef, cheese, chicken, pork and cat!"

Dog about food: 'I never realized it before, but this stuff tastes like crap.'

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Dog Dressed to Eat

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

Four Star Meal

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

Fresh Fish

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

And this is one we made earlier.