Pet Comedy Lover Pillows

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"We hear you have hair of the dog..."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."