Pet Care Conspirator Pillows

'We've just been declawed and a new couch is delivered: Not a coincidence if you ask me...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"You spoil those pterodactyls!"

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"The human is back - act normal."

Art Pets

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"I wasn't dead yet."

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

Handicapped Accessible Hydrant

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

The Curse of the Werewolf

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

'So, the rumours are true! You have been friendly with the Postman! My own son! Shame on you!'