Pet Biographer Pillows

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Another slander suit!"

Protoplasm

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

Dog History

"Actually I never loved you."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"It's the dog."

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

Pet Cemetery.

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

Pug 4 Life: 'It's a Dog Thing ... you wouldn't understand.'

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

'A dog learns about the flyer that was used to find him.'

'Who the heck is Tom Selleck?'

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

'So you fall behind the tortoise in the 2nd lap. I don't care if you sleep, trip, have a brain haemorrhage. Just make it look real. You fall behind, bunny. Got it?'

"I'm writing my eighth memoir."

'Fluffy is the great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great grandson of my first cat,'

'Are they related?'

'I don't go through the rubbish because I'm hungry: I'm just curious...'