Pest Control Ponderer Pillows

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

"Talk about mixed messages! The guy has an ant-farm so I assumed he liked ants, but he tried to kill me as soon as I reached the kitchen bench!"

Humans...What is their purpose?

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"Get out of my face!"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Bees v Wasps

Tuesday, 2022

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

Green Energy used to power polluting industries

'White meat or dark?'

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Human meat.

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

Walking on Water

"I love the part when they scream, 'Hey! That's no log!'..."

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

'Half-empty...half-full, but probably polluted.'

"Who's next?"