Pessimist Analyzer T-Shirts

Clancy: Borrowing Money

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

Doom & Gloom

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Die alone"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

Gonna Suck

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

Must you always be so negative?