Personal Protection Specialist T-Shirts

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"He's a guard dog."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Beware of Don"

AI Safety Officer

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

Mou...Man trap!

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

CCTV in church.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Inhospitality tent.

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

(Beware of the dog)

The Modern Godot

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

Shark tower surveillance camera.