Personal Protection Specialist T-Shirts

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"He's a guard dog."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Beware of Don"

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

AI Safety Officer

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"I say we move on to dessert."

Mou...Man trap!

CCTV in church.

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Inhospitality tent.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

De-escalator.

Biro Security

(Beware of the dog)

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

The Modern Godot

Shark tower surveillance camera.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?