Personal Injury Cases Pillows

Lawyer to client: 'Your slip and fall on ice would have more credibility if you weren't drinking ice tea at the time ... at South Beach.'

Barristers

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Justice 4 Ron

Sue The Bastards

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

Counsel examining witness

'I know just how you feel.'

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'Being granted immunity doesn't include not having to pay my bill.'

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

Welcome to your 7395 consecutive day of working on this case.

Supreme Court Crunch

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

A fellow participating in many activities and everything is fine until someone bumps his car and then his back hurts,

"Oh-oh, we're in trouble!"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'