Persistence Guru Gifts

'You need to be more persistent. Now, get out of here and keep coming back until you've worn me down.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Motivation to work

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Computer games

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."