Perpetual Teenager T-Shirts

"According to my fantasy sports site, I don't want to grow up."

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"My best friend is my phone."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."