Perk Collector T-Shirts

'I'm giving you that company car you've been bugging me about. The car cost $21,745, which will be gradually taken out of your pay starting Friday.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

'These are job perks.'

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Perks

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

Our dental plan consists of a toothbrush and toothpaste.

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

CEO Incentives

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"The americans have been sniffing around again looking to poach some rainmakers...."

'Why, there isn't even a company folder for 'Perks'!'

Employee Benefits

'We can't offer you the satisfaction of a gratifying career, but how does a paid week off and dental sound?'

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"...and, as well as your salary, you will be eligible for company transport - a pair of our latest running shoes."

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

After immobilising it's prey, the Tasmanian Death Spider prefers to suck out the innards with a bendy straw.

'This is a great place to work...They give you a day off every time you get married!'

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

"A fortnight's holiday in Spain, and you bring a gift of a measly pebble? Well, I suppose it's a change from a flippin' mug!"