Periodontist Pillows

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

'Do you think drinking milk will help my teeth?'

'My, what periodontal disease you suffer from.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

Toothbrush Romance

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.