Performing Arts Instructor Pillows

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Cimafunk

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Guitarist

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Turn, turn and turn.

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Comedy Cafe

Stand-up Romcom

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Taking a peek at the audience

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Piano Recital

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."