Performance Supporter Mugs

"I set a limit: one pity play per actor friend per year."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Just be yourself."

Comedy Cafe

Senta jumps into the sea

Theatre Crowd

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Saxophone Player.

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Ta Da!...

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Returns"

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

"Music has doubled my income..."

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Simultaneous translation.

Ballerina and the light switch.

"Ma, I just wanted you to know that the kid whose mouth you washed out with soap dozens of times was today referred to by the New York Times as a 'profanely eloquent' playwright!"

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

One woman show

A cat tamer