People Skills Wizard Mugs

Airport phones: Courtesy and Abuse.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

In - Out - Pending.

Stationery Shop

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Tie Rolls

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

Man with post it note

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"Who ever said 'there's a time and a place for everything' never worked in this office!"

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Sports Radio in Crisis

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

"Now that we have 10,000 employees we need a search function to find them."