Pensive Parent T-Shirts

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Father nursing his sick child

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'My kids don't understand me.'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

Sweet Jailbreak

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

'He was raised by sparrows!'

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"We don't have a time-out chair in our Classroom Community, that's our mindfulness chair."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Looks like Timmy got solitary.'

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

Driver being taught by impatient parent

Baby Philosophy.

Ingredients: me

State Prison Child Care

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"But MOM, between school, homework, sports and music lessons, I don't have time for time-outs anymore!"

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'