Pension Plan Explorer T-Shirts

'I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years working as a parking attendant.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

Medicare: More is Better!

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

"I keep my savings under my mattress. It's the only way I'll ever be able to retire on my money."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

Medicaid Expansion: "Better not take the risk, you never know when the well's going to run dry..."

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

I've been working here more than seven years. I'd like to talk about retirement benefits. I'd like a long-term contract. Ha ha. I wouldn't mind a dental plan and you know what else? Profit sharing! Hee hee, ho ho, ha ha. I really did just do it for the laughs. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -

"My massive 401(K) retirement savings is going way too slowly."

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

'We're going to need a specialist. To help fill in the insurance form.'

'The bad news is, during open enrollment we get to choose between our uncaring, inconvenient plan or another one that's just as bad or worse.'

"I thought now might be an appropriate time to review your pension planning."

"Yes, it is a very large bill. Unfortunately, the doctor who gave you a second opinion charges ten times what I do."

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

Boomers.

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

"How are you fixed for group insurance?"

"It's never too early to start pension planning."

I'd like to refer you to a paleontologist, but I doubt your insurance covers that.

"The government is committed to reducing its interference in the pension industry..."

"Remember, whatever doesn't kill you only makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"Please include the number of a close relative in case there's an emergency...with your insurance."

'You can get a copy of our retirement and health plans at any social security office.'

Why don't I ever bring my boss home for dinner?.. You want me to blow my pension?'